By golly, I DO have a lot to be thankful for....
I have wonderful sons and my extended family is good. Solid, family values people. I have my health, and my smarts, and my looks. I live in Virginia Beach, which reminds me of being back on the Space Coast with all of the beach attractions and planes constantly overhead. I love my job and I work with a lot of good people. I have a few really good friends, and a lot of really nice people I know online.
I have had a wonderful relationship with Andrea Lise, my wife. She's back in Missouri, paying off the remainder of her tuition reimbursement, and is frustrated by the pratfalls of the job search process. She had hoped to head out to the West Coast [northern] to be closer to her children [being Canadian], but she told me on the day after Thanksgiving that she missed BC and was going to give up her green card and go back. I asked her where that left us, and she told me that there was no point in continuing. She is going to file for dissolution. I am sad, and I will miss her. I mention this for background info, not to complain or spout off. Andrea is a good person, and I wish her all the best. I am thankful to have shared the past six years with her.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
How to Simulate Being in the Navy
How to Simulate Being in the Navy
1. Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for at least three weeks, discarding two of five.
2. Surround yourself with 200 people that you don't really know or like: people who smoke, snore like Mack trucks going uphill, and use foul language like a child uses sugar on cereal.
3. Unplug all radios and TVs to completely cut yourself off from the outside world. Have a neighbour bring you a Time, Newsweek, or Proceedings from five years ago to keep you abreast of current events.
4. Monitor all home appliances hourly, recording all vital information (ie: plugged in, lights come on when doors open, etc)
5. Do not flush the toilet for five days to simulate the smell of 40 people using the same commode.
6. Lock the bathroom twice a day for a four hour period.
7. Wear only military uniforms. Even though nobody cares, clean and press one dress uniform and wear it for 20 minutes.
8. Cut your hair weekly, making it shorter each time, until you look bald or look like you lost a fight with a demented sheep.
9. Work in 19-hour cycles, sleeping only four hours at a time, to ensure that your body does not know or even care if it is day or night.
10. Listen to your favourite CD 6 times a day for two weeks, then play music that causes acute nausea until you are glad to get back to your favourite CD.
11. Cut a twin mattress in half and enclose three sides of your bed. Add a roof that prevents you from sitting up (about 10 inches is a good distance) then place it on a platform that is four feet off the floor. Place a small dead animal under the bed to simulate the smell of your bunkmate's socks.
12. Set your alarm to go off at 10 minute intervals for the first hour of sleep to simulate the various times the watchstanders and nightcrew bump around and wake you up. Place your bed on a rocking table to ensure you are tossed around the remaining three hours. Make use of a custom clock that randomly simulates fire alarms, police sirens, helicopter crash alarms, and a new-wave rock band.
13. Have week old fruit and vegetables delivered to your garage and wait two weeks before eating them.
14. Prepare all meals blindfolded using all the spices you can grope for, or none at all. Remove the blindfold and eat everything in three minutes.
15. Periodically, shut off all power at the main circuit breaker and run around shouting "fire, fire, fire" and then restore power.
16. At least once a month, force the commode to overflow to simulate a 'black water system' boo-boo.
17. Buy a gas mask and smear it with rancid animal fat. Scrub the faceshield with steel wool until you can no longer see out of it. Wear this for two hours every fifth day especially when you are in the bathroom.
18. Study the owner's manual for all household appliances. Routinely take an appliance apart and put it back together.
19. Remove all plants, pictures and decorations. Paint everything gray, white, or the shade of hospital smocks.
20. Buy 50 cases of toilet paper and lock up all but two rolls. Ensure one of these two rolls is wet all the time.
21. Smash your forehead or shins with a hammer every two days to simulate collision injuries sustained onboard Navy ships.
22. When making sandwiches, leave the bread out for six days, or until it is hard and stale.
23. Every 10 weeks, simulate a visit to another port. Go directly to the city slums wearing your best clothes. Find the worst looking place, and ask for the most expensive beer that they carry. Drink as many as you can in four hours. Take a cab home taking the longest possible route. Tip the cabby after he charges you double because you dress funny and don't speak right.
24. Use fresh milk for only two days after each port visit.
25. Keep the bedroom thermostat at 2 deg C and use only a thin blanket for warmth.
26. Ensure that the water heater is connected to a device that provides water at a flow rate that varies from a fast drip to a weak trickle, with the temperature alternating rapidly from -2 to 95 deg C.
27. Use only spoons which hold a minimum of 1/2 cup at a time.
28. Repaint the interior of your home every month, whether it needs it or not.
29. Remind yourself every day: 'it's not just a job, it's an adventure!'
30. Mix kerosene with your water supply to simulate the de-sal plant on the ship picking up JP5 in the intake -- if a lit match thrown into your coffee pot doesn't ignite it, add more kerosene.
31. Stand outside at attention at dawn and have the poorest reader you know read the morning paper outloud. Be sure to have him skip over anything pertinent.
32. Every four hours, check the fluid level in your car's radiator. Check the tire pressure and replace air lost from excessive pressure checks. Be sure to place red tag on ignition stating "DANGER: DO NOT OPERATE" while you perform these checks. Inform your neighbor as to the results of these checks, have him tell you to repeat the checks because he did not see you perform them.
33. Paint your house grey (exterior) include windows except for rooms you do not frequent, paint your car grey, paint your driveway a different shade of grey.
34. Wait outside your dining area as a family member eats a meal, then have that person serve you a meal prepared several hours earlier.
35. Shut all blinds and doors at sunset.
36. Clean your house 'till there's absolutely not a speck of dust anywhere. Call on a stranger to come inspect your house. Ensure stranger sees dust that has collected in the time it took to find him. Stranger cannot leave until he finds irrational fault with your house/belongings.
37. Hang Christmas lights in June. When the neighbors ask, say, "deceptive lighting."
38. Hang white lights when relatives visit. When neighbors ask, say, "friendship lights."
1. Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for at least three weeks, discarding two of five.
2. Surround yourself with 200 people that you don't really know or like: people who smoke, snore like Mack trucks going uphill, and use foul language like a child uses sugar on cereal.
3. Unplug all radios and TVs to completely cut yourself off from the outside world. Have a neighbour bring you a Time, Newsweek, or Proceedings from five years ago to keep you abreast of current events.
4. Monitor all home appliances hourly, recording all vital information (ie: plugged in, lights come on when doors open, etc)
5. Do not flush the toilet for five days to simulate the smell of 40 people using the same commode.
6. Lock the bathroom twice a day for a four hour period.
7. Wear only military uniforms. Even though nobody cares, clean and press one dress uniform and wear it for 20 minutes.
8. Cut your hair weekly, making it shorter each time, until you look bald or look like you lost a fight with a demented sheep.
9. Work in 19-hour cycles, sleeping only four hours at a time, to ensure that your body does not know or even care if it is day or night.
10. Listen to your favourite CD 6 times a day for two weeks, then play music that causes acute nausea until you are glad to get back to your favourite CD.
11. Cut a twin mattress in half and enclose three sides of your bed. Add a roof that prevents you from sitting up (about 10 inches is a good distance) then place it on a platform that is four feet off the floor. Place a small dead animal under the bed to simulate the smell of your bunkmate's socks.
12. Set your alarm to go off at 10 minute intervals for the first hour of sleep to simulate the various times the watchstanders and nightcrew bump around and wake you up. Place your bed on a rocking table to ensure you are tossed around the remaining three hours. Make use of a custom clock that randomly simulates fire alarms, police sirens, helicopter crash alarms, and a new-wave rock band.
13. Have week old fruit and vegetables delivered to your garage and wait two weeks before eating them.
14. Prepare all meals blindfolded using all the spices you can grope for, or none at all. Remove the blindfold and eat everything in three minutes.
15. Periodically, shut off all power at the main circuit breaker and run around shouting "fire, fire, fire" and then restore power.
16. At least once a month, force the commode to overflow to simulate a 'black water system' boo-boo.
17. Buy a gas mask and smear it with rancid animal fat. Scrub the faceshield with steel wool until you can no longer see out of it. Wear this for two hours every fifth day especially when you are in the bathroom.
18. Study the owner's manual for all household appliances. Routinely take an appliance apart and put it back together.
19. Remove all plants, pictures and decorations. Paint everything gray, white, or the shade of hospital smocks.
20. Buy 50 cases of toilet paper and lock up all but two rolls. Ensure one of these two rolls is wet all the time.
21. Smash your forehead or shins with a hammer every two days to simulate collision injuries sustained onboard Navy ships.
22. When making sandwiches, leave the bread out for six days, or until it is hard and stale.
23. Every 10 weeks, simulate a visit to another port. Go directly to the city slums wearing your best clothes. Find the worst looking place, and ask for the most expensive beer that they carry. Drink as many as you can in four hours. Take a cab home taking the longest possible route. Tip the cabby after he charges you double because you dress funny and don't speak right.
24. Use fresh milk for only two days after each port visit.
25. Keep the bedroom thermostat at 2 deg C and use only a thin blanket for warmth.
26. Ensure that the water heater is connected to a device that provides water at a flow rate that varies from a fast drip to a weak trickle, with the temperature alternating rapidly from -2 to 95 deg C.
27. Use only spoons which hold a minimum of 1/2 cup at a time.
28. Repaint the interior of your home every month, whether it needs it or not.
29. Remind yourself every day: 'it's not just a job, it's an adventure!'
30. Mix kerosene with your water supply to simulate the de-sal plant on the ship picking up JP5 in the intake -- if a lit match thrown into your coffee pot doesn't ignite it, add more kerosene.
31. Stand outside at attention at dawn and have the poorest reader you know read the morning paper outloud. Be sure to have him skip over anything pertinent.
32. Every four hours, check the fluid level in your car's radiator. Check the tire pressure and replace air lost from excessive pressure checks. Be sure to place red tag on ignition stating "DANGER: DO NOT OPERATE" while you perform these checks. Inform your neighbor as to the results of these checks, have him tell you to repeat the checks because he did not see you perform them.
33. Paint your house grey (exterior) include windows except for rooms you do not frequent, paint your car grey, paint your driveway a different shade of grey.
34. Wait outside your dining area as a family member eats a meal, then have that person serve you a meal prepared several hours earlier.
35. Shut all blinds and doors at sunset.
36. Clean your house 'till there's absolutely not a speck of dust anywhere. Call on a stranger to come inspect your house. Ensure stranger sees dust that has collected in the time it took to find him. Stranger cannot leave until he finds irrational fault with your house/belongings.
37. Hang Christmas lights in June. When the neighbors ask, say, "deceptive lighting."
38. Hang white lights when relatives visit. When neighbors ask, say, "friendship lights."
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Wednesday
If it's Wednesday, this must be....
The German Pantry, for beer and mirth.
Bier?
Ja, danke schoen.
Sauerbraten tonight?
Hmmmm.... choices!!
The German Pantry, for beer and mirth.
Bier?
Ja, danke schoen.
Sauerbraten tonight?
Hmmmm.... choices!!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Tuesday
So, I did see Beowulf and I DID enjoy it. It's modernized [as in, the language is Modern English.] I was going to say something to the effect that Middle or Old English just wouldn't have cut it, and then I realised: subtitles! That would have been one way of bringing the realism quotient back, in light of the animatronic effect, blurring the focus tended to hinder my suspension of disbelief.
On to Angelina. Weird Slavic [Slavonic?] accent for a dragon/type V demon to have... kinda cool effect when, as a woman, she rose from the pool of water and was covered by a butterscotch/caramel sort of candy-coating. Looked yummy! Oh, and in woman-form she has built-on high heels. How convenient!!! Accessorizes nicely with the golden glop [Char, there's that word again! ;-) ]
On to Angelina. Weird Slavic [Slavonic?] accent for a dragon/type V demon to have... kinda cool effect when, as a woman, she rose from the pool of water and was covered by a butterscotch/caramel sort of candy-coating. Looked yummy! Oh, and in woman-form she has built-on high heels. How convenient!!! Accessorizes nicely with the golden glop [Char, there's that word again! ;-) ]
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Where is she?
Ya know, I haven't posted any poetry lately. A thought has been in my mind today, so I fleshed it out. It's not Ringlets, I fear, yet it captures the feeling within me at present. Hope ya don't mind.
Where is the girl I used to love best?
Waiting with dagger, like all of the rest:
To strike when she’s ready, and stake to her claim;
Waiting with dagger, to slash and to maim
My heart – how it sears
To ask of the girl that I used to know?
She’s far and away, awaiting to row
To the sunset,
On a sea of my tears.
Charles L. Wallace
November 18, 2007
1520 EST
Where is the girl I used to love best?
Waiting with dagger, like all of the rest:
To strike when she’s ready, and stake to her claim;
Waiting with dagger, to slash and to maim
My heart – how it sears
To ask of the girl that I used to know?
She’s far and away, awaiting to row
To the sunset,
On a sea of my tears.
Charles L. Wallace
November 18, 2007
1520 EST
Saturday, November 17, 2007
ORISKANY
I just watched a documentary on Discovery Channel, which I found fascinating. It's about the artificial reefing program, and the sinking of the ex-USS ORISKANY. Spectacular photo footage from inside the ship during the explosions and during the sinking. I really recommend seeing it, if you ever get the chance. It's called The Sinking of an Aircraft Carrier, and Discovery shows it from time to time.
Some of the same guys I worked with this past summer are involved: I saw Buddy rigging something, and Dex scurrying about, working fast and furious as always, and that Stu, such a movie star!! Nice line about safety. I'll have to remind him about that next time I catch him climbing up the wall without a harness :-) Wonder when that will be....
Some of the same guys I worked with this past summer are involved: I saw Buddy rigging something, and Dex scurrying about, working fast and furious as always, and that Stu, such a movie star!! Nice line about safety. I'll have to remind him about that next time I catch him climbing up the wall without a harness :-) Wonder when that will be....
Sea Geats
Pronounced like "Yates", making the protagonist of our movie Beowulf Yates. Sea Geats, of which Beowulf was a thane, were a seafaring people of old Scandinavia. Thanks for the pronunciation go to Jon Thiessen, my ol' Fire Control Officer, who learned the first zillion or so lines of Beowulf in Middle English. Really. Jon, you out there? Got any pics of Tiff? hahaha! Just kidding :-)
So Beowulf now merits 3-D, and evidently Grendel's ma isn't so gnarly after all [or B is a lousy judge of women. Like I should talk.] Anyway, the plan is to see the movie tomorrow. Tonight, on Discovery, is "Sinking of a Carrier", which should be about making ORISKANY into an artificial reef and if that is the case, it features my guys. Hi, guys!! It's before I joined the team, but I am still interested :-)
So Beowulf now merits 3-D, and evidently Grendel's ma isn't so gnarly after all [or B is a lousy judge of women. Like I should talk.] Anyway, the plan is to see the movie tomorrow. Tonight, on Discovery, is "Sinking of a Carrier", which should be about making ORISKANY into an artificial reef and if that is the case, it features my guys. Hi, guys!! It's before I joined the team, but I am still interested :-)
Friday, November 16, 2007
Spray
Picture this:
8 metre speedboat, 2X 250 HP outboards.
50 degrees and 10 knot breeze.
3 foot seas.
Salt spray the equivalent of a shower,
to the face.
We got air a few times.
I got paid to do this.
Yes, it was fun.
Yes, I love my job.
8 metre speedboat, 2X 250 HP outboards.
50 degrees and 10 knot breeze.
3 foot seas.
Salt spray the equivalent of a shower,
to the face.
We got air a few times.
I got paid to do this.
Yes, it was fun.
Yes, I love my job.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Topsy Turvy
Big week for news from the Bronx..... catcher Jorge Posada agrees to sign on the dotted line [4 years, $52 mil] and the baton is passed to closer Mariano Rivera. Or is it? Mo is offered 3 years at $45 mil, but is out of the country, or maybe playing other teams to get an extra year, or more $$$.
But wait!! #13 is back, hat in hand, contrite for disrespecting the Yanks. I want to believe A-Rod, so I do believe him. Yeah, some fans are still all over the man. That will change next April as we say "Goodbye, Mr. Spalding!" Seriously.
Back to Po. The Yanks HAD to do it. We do not lose a draft pick, and really, no other option was even close. Jorge is a True Yankee. We're better for re-signing him.
Back to A-Rod. He really WANTS to be a Yankee. Yanks needed right-handed pop and a third baseman, both of which Mr. Rodriguez supplies. We do not lose a draft pick, and this was by fa the best option. Here's advice to all of the fans who hate A-Rod. Shut up. He's back.
Back to Mo. We need Mo, even on a 4-year deal. He takes care of himself. At age 42, he should still have some zip on the ball. Even if he is a mop-up man in four years, Mo is a True Yankee, and re-signing him will not cost a draft pick. I want to see him in pinstipes next year.
Andy Pettite. We need veteran leadership and a good, left-handed starter. Can we still sign Andy? I do not know the answer - a team can only sign three type "A" free agents each offseason. Would Mo, Po, and A-Rod make three? Or, since A-Rod opted out, is he excluded from the three?
Anyone?
Bueller?
Guido the Killer Pimp? [mixing movie metaphors, I know ;-) ]
But wait!! #13 is back, hat in hand, contrite for disrespecting the Yanks. I want to believe A-Rod, so I do believe him. Yeah, some fans are still all over the man. That will change next April as we say "Goodbye, Mr. Spalding!" Seriously.
Back to Po. The Yanks HAD to do it. We do not lose a draft pick, and really, no other option was even close. Jorge is a True Yankee. We're better for re-signing him.
Back to A-Rod. He really WANTS to be a Yankee. Yanks needed right-handed pop and a third baseman, both of which Mr. Rodriguez supplies. We do not lose a draft pick, and this was by fa the best option. Here's advice to all of the fans who hate A-Rod. Shut up. He's back.
Back to Mo. We need Mo, even on a 4-year deal. He takes care of himself. At age 42, he should still have some zip on the ball. Even if he is a mop-up man in four years, Mo is a True Yankee, and re-signing him will not cost a draft pick. I want to see him in pinstipes next year.
Andy Pettite. We need veteran leadership and a good, left-handed starter. Can we still sign Andy? I do not know the answer - a team can only sign three type "A" free agents each offseason. Would Mo, Po, and A-Rod make three? Or, since A-Rod opted out, is he excluded from the three?
Anyone?
Bueller?
Guido the Killer Pimp? [mixing movie metaphors, I know ;-) ]
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Wednesday
Missed another day. Yikes!
Time flies when yer having fun.
Or, "bedsitter people look back and lament
another day's useless energy, spent."
Indeed, we decide which is right.
Apologies to The Moody Blues for the quote and epilogue ;-)
Time flies when yer having fun.
Or, "bedsitter people look back and lament
another day's useless energy, spent."
Indeed, we decide which is right.
Apologies to The Moody Blues for the quote and epilogue ;-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
