Kilted Tragedy

I was going through my gear last night, getting ready to attend the Virginia Renaissance Festival up in Spotsylvania [it's Pirate Weekend! Arrr!] and, sadly, I noticed that my black kilt had shrunk to the point where I could not wear it!! It's an Amerikilt, and I like it a lot [more info on the Amerikilt is available by clicking on the linked title, or by going to www.amerikilt.com, and yes, girls, there ARE pictures of dudes in kilts, plus a cute little mockumercial of a guy in a kilt taking out the trash, bending over, and the lady living next door trying to get a free look and falling over a pile of trash at the curb. Good stuff!

Now, back to the tragedy. Two inches. That's how far off we are [far off we Arrr!], and I have a sneaking suspicion that pixies have altered my fine non-bifurcated garment. Sadly, I have never met the pixies who live here, or we would hang out and have jolly good fun [in Gaelic, craic, but I don't want you to think we'd be passing a pipe or anything.] Pixies, as you well know, love practical jokes, merriment, tomfoolery, all of that stuff, and I am sure they are rolling over this one.

So, I have resolved to take the pixies' challenge. I am going to work out more and go out to eat less [that's difficult, as that is the chief component of my social life!] and get down to the point where the black Amerikilt fits me again, and I'll be leaner, meaner, all of that happy stuff. And, just to mess with the pixies' sweet lil' heads, I will also buy another kilt, two inches larger. Then, when they alter it, it should fit just about right, and the joke's on them. Heeheehee

But, don't I already own another kilt? Yes, I do. I own a SportKilt in Wallace tartan, and while I am sure that I could get it to go, maybe not comfortably [it's all velcro, no snaps; the AmeriKilt has snaps, plus velcro]. Remember, this is a pirate fest, too. I would not sully my family name by associating it with pirates. So, shorts and T-shirt for the day ["Pirate Life" Shirt, plus Tampa Bay Buccaneers black ballcap with hurricane flag and skull, arrr!]

Quick: what are the two letters of the pirate alphabet?

"Arrrrrrr!"

"Aye!"

hahahahaha