My Zazzle

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Thankful

By golly, I DO have a lot to be thankful for....
I have wonderful sons and my extended family is good. Solid, family values people. I have my health, and my smarts, and my looks. I live in Virginia Beach, which reminds me of being back on the Space Coast with all of the beach attractions and planes constantly overhead. I love my job and I work with a lot of good people. I have a few really good friends, and a lot of really nice people I know online.

I have had a wonderful relationship with Andrea Lise, my wife. She's back in Missouri, paying off the remainder of her tuition reimbursement, and is frustrated by the pratfalls of the job search process. She had hoped to head out to the West Coast [northern] to be closer to her children [being Canadian], but she told me on the day after Thanksgiving that she missed BC and was going to give up her green card and go back. I asked her where that left us, and she told me that there was no point in continuing. She is going to file for dissolution. I am sad, and I will miss her. I mention this for background info, not to complain or spout off. Andrea is a good person, and I wish her all the best. I am thankful to have shared the past six years with her.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

How to Simulate Being in the Navy

How to Simulate Being in the Navy

1. Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for at least three weeks, discarding two of five.
2. Surround yourself with 200 people that you don't really know or like: people who smoke, snore like Mack trucks going uphill, and use foul language like a child uses sugar on cereal.
3. Unplug all radios and TVs to completely cut yourself off from the outside world. Have a neighbour bring you a Time, Newsweek, or Proceedings from five years ago to keep you abreast of current events.
4. Monitor all home appliances hourly, recording all vital information (ie: plugged in, lights come on when doors open, etc)
5. Do not flush the toilet for five days to simulate the smell of 40 people using the same commode.
6. Lock the bathroom twice a day for a four hour period.
7. Wear only military uniforms. Even though nobody cares, clean and press one dress uniform and wear it for 20 minutes.
8. Cut your hair weekly, making it shorter each time, until you look bald or look like you lost a fight with a demented sheep.
9. Work in 19-hour cycles, sleeping only four hours at a time, to ensure that your body does not know or even care if it is day or night.
10. Listen to your favourite CD 6 times a day for two weeks, then play music that causes acute nausea until you are glad to get back to your favourite CD.
11. Cut a twin mattress in half and enclose three sides of your bed. Add a roof that prevents you from sitting up (about 10 inches is a good distance) then place it on a platform that is four feet off the floor. Place a small dead animal under the bed to simulate the smell of your bunkmate's socks.
12. Set your alarm to go off at 10 minute intervals for the first hour of sleep to simulate the various times the watchstanders and nightcrew bump around and wake you up. Place your bed on a rocking table to ensure you are tossed around the remaining three hours. Make use of a custom clock that randomly simulates fire alarms, police sirens, helicopter crash alarms, and a new-wave rock band.
13. Have week old fruit and vegetables delivered to your garage and wait two weeks before eating them.
14. Prepare all meals blindfolded using all the spices you can grope for, or none at all. Remove the blindfold and eat everything in three minutes.
15. Periodically, shut off all power at the main circuit breaker and run around shouting "fire, fire, fire" and then restore power.
16. At least once a month, force the commode to overflow to simulate a 'black water system' boo-boo.
17. Buy a gas mask and smear it with rancid animal fat. Scrub the faceshield with steel wool until you can no longer see out of it. Wear this for two hours every fifth day especially when you are in the bathroom.
18. Study the owner's manual for all household appliances. Routinely take an appliance apart and put it back together.
19. Remove all plants, pictures and decorations. Paint everything gray, white, or the shade of hospital smocks.
20. Buy 50 cases of toilet paper and lock up all but two rolls. Ensure one of these two rolls is wet all the time.
21. Smash your forehead or shins with a hammer every two days to simulate collision injuries sustained onboard Navy ships.
22. When making sandwiches, leave the bread out for six days, or until it is hard and stale.
23. Every 10 weeks, simulate a visit to another port. Go directly to the city slums wearing your best clothes. Find the worst looking place, and ask for the most expensive beer that they carry. Drink as many as you can in four hours. Take a cab home taking the longest possible route. Tip the cabby after he charges you double because you dress funny and don't speak right.
24. Use fresh milk for only two days after each port visit.
25. Keep the bedroom thermostat at 2 deg C and use only a thin blanket for warmth.
26. Ensure that the water heater is connected to a device that provides water at a flow rate that varies from a fast drip to a weak trickle, with the temperature alternating rapidly from -2 to 95 deg C.
27. Use only spoons which hold a minimum of 1/2 cup at a time.
28. Repaint the interior of your home every month, whether it needs it or not.
29. Remind yourself every day: 'it's not just a job, it's an adventure!'
30. Mix kerosene with your water supply to simulate the de-sal plant on the ship picking up JP5 in the intake -- if a lit match thrown into your coffee pot doesn't ignite it, add more kerosene.
31. Stand outside at attention at dawn and have the poorest reader you know read the morning paper outloud. Be sure to have him skip over anything pertinent.
32. Every four hours, check the fluid level in your car's radiator. Check the tire pressure and replace air lost from excessive pressure checks. Be sure to place red tag on ignition stating "DANGER: DO NOT OPERATE" while you perform these checks. Inform your neighbor as to the results of these checks, have him tell you to repeat the checks because he did not see you perform them.
33. Paint your house grey (exterior) include windows except for rooms you do not frequent, paint your car grey, paint your driveway a different shade of grey.
34. Wait outside your dining area as a family member eats a meal, then have that person serve you a meal prepared several hours earlier.
35. Shut all blinds and doors at sunset.
36. Clean your house 'till there's absolutely not a speck of dust anywhere. Call on a stranger to come inspect your house. Ensure stranger sees dust that has collected in the time it took to find him. Stranger cannot leave until he finds irrational fault with your house/belongings.
37. Hang Christmas lights in June. When the neighbors ask, say, "deceptive lighting."
38. Hang white lights when relatives visit. When neighbors ask, say, "friendship lights."

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Wednesday

If it's Wednesday, this must be....
The German Pantry, for beer and mirth.
Bier?
Ja, danke schoen.
Sauerbraten tonight?
Hmmmm.... choices!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Tuesday

So, I did see Beowulf and I DID enjoy it. It's modernized [as in, the language is Modern English.] I was going to say something to the effect that Middle or Old English just wouldn't have cut it, and then I realised: subtitles! That would have been one way of bringing the realism quotient back, in light of the animatronic effect, blurring the focus tended to hinder my suspension of disbelief.

On to Angelina. Weird Slavic [Slavonic?] accent for a dragon/type V demon to have... kinda cool effect when, as a woman, she rose from the pool of water and was covered by a butterscotch/caramel sort of candy-coating. Looked yummy! Oh, and in woman-form she has built-on high heels. How convenient!!! Accessorizes nicely with the golden glop [Char, there's that word again! ;-) ]

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Where is she?

Ya know, I haven't posted any poetry lately. A thought has been in my mind today, so I fleshed it out. It's not Ringlets, I fear, yet it captures the feeling within me at present. Hope ya don't mind.

Where is the girl I used to love best?

Waiting with dagger, like all of the rest:
To strike when she’s ready, and stake to her claim;
Waiting with dagger, to slash and to maim
My heart – how it sears
To ask of the girl that I used to know?

She’s far and away, awaiting to row
To the sunset,
On a sea of my tears.

Charles L. Wallace
November 18, 2007
1520 EST

Saturday, November 17, 2007

ORISKANY

I just watched a documentary on Discovery Channel, which I found fascinating. It's about the artificial reefing program, and the sinking of the ex-USS ORISKANY. Spectacular photo footage from inside the ship during the explosions and during the sinking. I really recommend seeing it, if you ever get the chance. It's called The Sinking of an Aircraft Carrier, and Discovery shows it from time to time.

Some of the same guys I worked with this past summer are involved: I saw Buddy rigging something, and Dex scurrying about, working fast and furious as always, and that Stu, such a movie star!! Nice line about safety. I'll have to remind him about that next time I catch him climbing up the wall without a harness :-) Wonder when that will be....

Sea Geats

Pronounced like "Yates", making the protagonist of our movie Beowulf Yates. Sea Geats, of which Beowulf was a thane, were a seafaring people of old Scandinavia. Thanks for the pronunciation go to Jon Thiessen, my ol' Fire Control Officer, who learned the first zillion or so lines of Beowulf in Middle English. Really. Jon, you out there? Got any pics of Tiff? hahaha! Just kidding :-)

So Beowulf now merits 3-D, and evidently Grendel's ma isn't so gnarly after all [or B is a lousy judge of women. Like I should talk.] Anyway, the plan is to see the movie tomorrow. Tonight, on Discovery, is "Sinking of a Carrier", which should be about making ORISKANY into an artificial reef and if that is the case, it features my guys. Hi, guys!! It's before I joined the team, but I am still interested :-)

Friday, November 16, 2007

Spray

Picture this:
8 metre speedboat, 2X 250 HP outboards.
50 degrees and 10 knot breeze.
3 foot seas.
Salt spray the equivalent of a shower,
to the face.
We got air a few times.
I got paid to do this.
Yes, it was fun.
Yes, I love my job.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Topsy Turvy

Big week for news from the Bronx..... catcher Jorge Posada agrees to sign on the dotted line [4 years, $52 mil] and the baton is passed to closer Mariano Rivera. Or is it? Mo is offered 3 years at $45 mil, but is out of the country, or maybe playing other teams to get an extra year, or more $$$.

But wait!! #13 is back, hat in hand, contrite for disrespecting the Yanks. I want to believe A-Rod, so I do believe him. Yeah, some fans are still all over the man. That will change next April as we say "Goodbye, Mr. Spalding!" Seriously.

Back to Po. The Yanks HAD to do it. We do not lose a draft pick, and really, no other option was even close. Jorge is a True Yankee. We're better for re-signing him.

Back to A-Rod. He really WANTS to be a Yankee. Yanks needed right-handed pop and a third baseman, both of which Mr. Rodriguez supplies. We do not lose a draft pick, and this was by fa the best option. Here's advice to all of the fans who hate A-Rod. Shut up. He's back.

Back to Mo. We need Mo, even on a 4-year deal. He takes care of himself. At age 42, he should still have some zip on the ball. Even if he is a mop-up man in four years, Mo is a True Yankee, and re-signing him will not cost a draft pick. I want to see him in pinstipes next year.

Andy Pettite. We need veteran leadership and a good, left-handed starter. Can we still sign Andy? I do not know the answer - a team can only sign three type "A" free agents each offseason. Would Mo, Po, and A-Rod make three? Or, since A-Rod opted out, is he excluded from the three?

Anyone?
Bueller?
Guido the Killer Pimp? [mixing movie metaphors, I know ;-) ]

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Wednesday

Missed another day. Yikes!

Time flies when yer having fun.

Or, "bedsitter people look back and lament
another day's useless energy, spent."

Indeed, we decide which is right.

Apologies to The Moody Blues for the quote and epilogue ;-)

Monday, November 12, 2007

Link

I ran into this other blog today, and have now read all of the postings.
I highly recommend it, both for history buffs, and anyone hoping to
ot forget our past.

http://wwar1.blogspot.com/

Letters from Private Lamin, Royal Army, 1917.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Veterans Day

I've separated the posts. I observe Veteran's Day in honour of those who serve, and those who have done so. I observe Armistice Day, lest we forget trench warfare and gas attacks, over the top and bully beef, the Flying Circus..... the Lafayette Escadrille..... Roland Garros and Albert Ball. The Richtofen boys and Eddie Rickenbacker. The baseball season ending early in 1918 as we rushed to get into the war, before it became all quiet, on the western front. Remarqueable, no?

HooAH!
OoohRAH!
Anchors aweigh.
Aim High!
Um, Semper Paratus [got it!]
Thank you.
U S A!!
U S A!!

Armistice Day

The Great War was over on November 11. Who has thoughts of that Hell, occurring so long ago and ere eclipsed by WWII? Passchendaele, Ypres, Vimy Ridge, The Somme, The Marne. Verdun. Names of places long-forgotten, save for a few.

On November 11, 1918, my grandfather was off to war. Herman Arthur Wallace. Pappy. Riding a train out of KC, bound for New York and transshipment across the wide Atlantic. He was the last of the Wallace boys to be dogfaces; his sons and their sons became swabbies. November 11th came and went, and with it, the dying gasp of the Great War, the War to End All Wars [until the next one]. The train turned around and returned to Kansas City. Happy XMas, War is Over [if you want it].

Illini

I almost forgot to mention it, but big props for Ron Zook and the Fighting... um.... football team from Champaign, IL. Ran the ball well, and beat the #1 team in the nation, Ohio State. Guess he's trying to keep up with Urban Meyer, in terms of beating Buckeyes ;-)

Strangely, Wisconsin defeated Michigan yesterday as well. Guess both teams were looking ahead to next week, when they play each other. Only one will find a way to lose. It'll probably be Michigan, but Go Blue! anyway.

Yikes!!

Man, I coulda SWORN I post more often than that!! Sorry.
Then again, maybe I confused replies with postings ;-)

Gators beat South Carolina. Percy Harvin was out with a sinus infection and migraines, plus the game was in SC, plus it was against the Ol' Ball Coach [our legendary QB/Coach, Steve Spurrier, who is always pesky]. Last year, in Gainesville, we blocked an extra point, and a field goal at the last gasp, preserving the chance to play for the national title against OSU.

So, this year, Tim Tebow threw for 300 yards and 2 scores, using Andre` "Bubba" Caldwell very nicely. Oh, Big Tim also ran for over a hundred yards and five touchdowns. You heard it right: FIVE touchdown runs. Can you spell "Heisman"?

Before the game, I went and watched American Gangster, which features Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. Long, but you don't really notice [2' 42" or something]. Graphic scenes, good casting, good script, good acting. I enjoyed it, and I recommend it :-)

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Cavemen

In the olden days, we'd turn the tube to Donny and Marie. It was kinda funny, turning the sound all the way off and cranking up Hendrix [Tom Tibbs, my pal from high school, and I].
I think Tom was partaking of the herb, and we both had antifreeze coursing through our veins. Good, good entertainment :-)

In that same vein [yeah, pun intended, I suppose], I decided to get blitzed and watch Cavemen, the new sho [it's on ABC, isn't it?] Shoulda been so easy, right? hahahahah
anyway, I did not hate Cavemen. I also did not like it.

[1] Tried so hard to be funny it was painful to watch.
[2] Written by Social Marxists hell-bent on giving us a sociology lesson.

Are the cave-dudes euphemisms for some other real-world group of down-trodden people?
Discuss, please.

Oh, and the extra point:
The German Pantry [Marina reminded me that I had to have dessert first or I would never get around to it]; Spice cake and white wine [sadly, they have no Gewurztraminer!], followed by pretzels n mustard, with Gulasch soup and draught Hefeweissen. Yum! At hme, the balance of Hiram Walker's apricot brandy. [Pix conferred the title 'nasty' on it]. Just for info ;-)

Monday, November 5, 2007

Moolah

Mary Lillian Ellison has passed away. She was 84.

Some of you may not know who she was, but she comes from another interest of mine, professional wrestling. I know, I know, wrestling's not real. Neither is acting. Lillian wrestled as The Fabulous Moolah, and she was the world champion before I was born, and kept the belt except for one or two very short interludes [days, each].

Born in South Carolina, she was the epitome` of a sweet, Southern belle. In persona, however, she was as mean a gal as I have ever witnessed, easy to believe that she was the most vicious, violent femme ever.... In wrestling terminology, she had 'heat', the ability to rile up audiences who would pay good money to see her get whupped [and she never did]. Again, in persona, she was a classic 'heel', an evil wrestler who made the fans want to come on down to the arena and see their favorite give her a sound beating, and she was very good at it.

I never knew of her sustaining a major injury, and wrestling is physical, even if the outcome is generally pre-determined. Think of it as performance art, with the emphasis on performance. Miss Ellison ran a school for aspiring young lady wrestlers, and they all vouched for the fact that it was pretty much boot camp. Small, attractive, double-tough. Modern-era female wrestlers would do well to emulate this gal. Happily, a few seem to have done so.

Lil', darlin', we'll miss ya.
Say hello to Sherri and Woman for us.
Lillian passed away on my birthday, November 2nd.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Glop

Brown some ground beef.
Melt some Velveeta.
Stir in some Ro-Tel.
Dip up with chips.
I'm having mine with Miller Chill, a chelada style beer. Some lime, a little salt. Fresh, clean taste. Refreshing, not heavy.
Watching Gators Homecoming Game, with Vanderbilt in The Swamp.
Percy Harvin just carried in for 13-0 lead.
Joey Ijjas, good! 14 - nil.
Man, this is awesome ;-)

La Bella

Happy Birthday to me. I went over and had dinner, and had a good time. Originally, I had decided upon Coyote Cafe, a purveyor of southwestern cuisine [Tex/Mex]. The place was dark, and indeed the interior was gutted. Looked like renovation occurring. Hand-written signs on the windows indicated re-opening November 7th, and good luck in meeting that deadline!!

Low on gas, I went across Laskin Road to La Bella Italia, which is a bit more classy [and pricey] than the average joint. Has a nice Italian deli, as well. The hostess seemed a bit spacey - took me a moment to distract her from her interesting conversation with a co-worker, and she asked me if I was there for a carryout. Um, no, and I looked presentable. Polo shirt, slacks, just like everyone else. Ever notice that when you dine alone, you get crappy tables? I got seated on the aperture between two dining rooms, and had my space invaded right and left. Next time I will be more assertive in seat selection, when I am more comfortable with the place.

My waitress [Somaya] was a charm, very friendly and attentive, and I felt better already. I ordered up Signor Moretti's brew, and an ice water for hydration. Appetizer: capicola, roasted peppers, and fresh mozzarella over lettuce, which makes a fine salad. Enjoyable! Saltimbocca [and another Moretti] for the main course, and it too was nicely done. I saved half of it, and some of the side dish of pasta in red gravy, for today. [Getting full!].

For dessert, I had tiramisu with a cappucino. Nice finishing touch, which indeed finished me off.
Drove home and began to snore shortly thereafter. In review: nice place, good food, friendly staff. With tip, came out to $66, which is a bit more than it needs to be, but I enjoyed it, and I recommend going. Try it!! Mangia, mangia :-)

Friday, November 2, 2007

HB

Happy Birthday to me... Chuckie Lee is 49. Imagine that!
Well, another good day, although being the end of the week, I am tired. Two days of boating, one in the speedboat and one in the cabin cruiser, and it takes a lot of energy. I caught myself falling asleep in the office today.

No boating today by design. The guys were out overnight annoying ships for practice, so they left by 7 AM or so to go get rack time. Hurricane out in the Atlantic, and the winds are whipping up pretty well... the waters are really choppy and not suitable for ops anyway.

So, where should I head out to? More than likely the Beach Pub. It's decent and cheap, and pretty friendly, so more than likely, there. I dunno, maybe a spur-of-the-moment decision ;-)

Gators host Vandy tomorrow at 1230, Homecoming Game. That makes Gator Growl tonight, the big homecoming pep rally and entertainment show. I still remember Rodney Dangerfield at GG one year, he was awesome!!!

Kev told me that his mom's dad passed away on the 31st. John was a crusty old sonofagun, a Chief Boatswain's Mate, but he respected the fact that I was in the Nav [and for a couple of years, in Deck Department!]. He gave me a combo cover [boat driver's hat], and that was a cool thing to do. My condolences, Diane, Derek and Kev, and Aiko. May the Lord welcome him.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Dia de los Muertes

Dia de los Muertes. Day of the Dead. Generally celebrated in conjunction with All Saints Day and All Souls Day, November 1st and 2nd, and mainly in Hispanic communities. I listened to Oingo Boingo for a while, and then the Rezurex. http://www.rezurex.com/ and you can check them out on the link I have enclosed [hope it works - links to their myspace page] My fave of theirs, of course, is "Dia de los Muertes", which is a damn fine tune. Do ya like rockabilly? Punk? They describe themselves as psychobilly, and that's as good as any other description, I suppose. Anyway, check 'em out! Buy their stuff! Support indy artists!!

My avatar pic was taken on dia de los Muertes last year, back when I was in the auto industry. Hated it! The industry, that is. I actually like the pic ;-) Happier now, working for the Navy, live by the beach, love the people I work with and getting to go on the water.... but I still wear black on Fridays and special occasions. Like Hallowe'en, Dia de los Muertes, and such.

Man! Usually I write a lot more words; maybe I am windin down for the night. Tomorrow's my birthday. I've been to Grate Steak and German Pantry lately, and go often to Beach Pub. Where should I go celebrate? Thoughts? Anyone? Bueller? Guido the Killer Pimp?

Denied for questionable content

The New York post denied this post due to "questionable content". I am really getting tired of trying to guess what will go; yet "Yona Loriner" gets to write his name continually in some sort of Dadaist orgy and people essentially crap on each other. What an unworthy site for our writing energy, yet I have several friends there, so back I go. Feliz, Chuck.

Hi, Lisa - you're welcome! Proud to serve, ma'am :-) It is certainly a pleasure to discuss baseball with you two and a select group of additional fans. No one needs rhetoric ;-)
On to the topics at hand - the Yanks have certainly wasted their fair share of money on lost causes [Pavano] and Grumpy Old Men [Unit, Kevin Brown], but like Lisa pointed out, good pitching is hard to come by. In those cases, and others [Jaret Wright, Weaver], they were throwing candidates against the wall to see who would stick. Far, far better to go with one's farm, but ours was barren. Ted Lilly was one of the last [ok, ok, Jake Westbrook, too] and we traded off both Ted AND Jake. That has to change, and I think it will.As far as Clemens goes, it was not a disaster. True, he was not the world-beater we had hoped for, but he gave us a chance to win in many of his starts, which Chase Wright, Matt DeSalvo, Tyler Clippard and Kei Igawa might not have done.As an added bonus, he added grit and determination, and worked with the young pitchers, too. Just adding him to the mix made the Yankees a better ball club; any pitching they got was icing on the cake. Aging egomaniacs, Tanya? We got Rocket, you got 38pitches.com. One makes more money, but both franchises have that commodity in excess. I would say, don't compare Dicey and Rocket. Compare Schill and Clemens, Dice and Igawa.Matsuzaka? He had a tough time acculturating, just ike Beckett did last year. I think he will be better next year [Oki too] if his arm strength holds up.Igawa? Even Yank fans diss this guy, but it is his first year, for Pete's sake. Just being a rookie alone is daunting, but in a foreign land, with one teammate who speaks yer native tongue, it's rough. Give the guy a break! Anyway, once Nardi and Eiland finish breaking him down and building him back up, he'll be much more of an asset. The guy gets his K's, just needs to limit the gopher ball....Rodolpho, Torre is a beter manager than you give him credit for. EVEN if you could call a game better than he, which I doubt, he kept the clubhouse from getting fractous, which you would have had zero chance in H ades of accomplishing. The team he managed prior to the Yanks? Talent-starved. He got the Braves into the playoffs, and they agreed with you and fired Joe. They did not make it back until the Smoltz/Glavine era. Joe may not make the playoffs, but he will work wonders on uniting the Dodgers clubhouse. I say they will have a winning record and be in playoff contention. Let's check back in a year and see who is right.Feliz Dia de los Muertes, peeps.