The Crash

Here's a blast from the past. I'll try to dig up old stories I have written and post them here as a witness to my general mental condition, and if I don't, remind me, eh?


The Crash, October 2001 Current mood: nostalgic
Ah, yes the crash.
Back on October 3rd, I was riding my mountain bike out in the trails a couple of miles north of my house. I was coming back on the bike path [asphalt] and crossed the island in the entrance to Canterbury Village. Coming up the far side, my front wheel flew off.
This catapulted me face-first into the asphalt [with such pace that I didnt have time to release the handlebars my knuckles got all skinned up!] resulting in a broken nose, road rash everywhere, and ten stitches in my upper lip where it tried to pull off. My helmet has a dinner-plate sized crush area, without it I would have broken my skull! My glasses right lens is completely brushed as though by 16-grade sandpaper [like anodized!] Metal fatigue appears to have been the culprit, as the front spindle is warped at a crazy angle I put the bike, wheel, and helmet safely into the parking lot there after making sure I had no broken appendages [shoulders both felt like my elbows did when I broke them, years ago] and no concussion,
and walked home. A guy stopped to give me a ride, but I was almost home and wanted to cut through the woods so that the neighbors wouldnt see, so I declined. I showered and put on Band-Aids, and called my buddy, Pete, to give me a ride to the hospital. The hospital called in a plastic surgeon to stitch me up, and he agreed to set my nose [a bone had displaced and pushed against one nostril, so I really looked like an old boxer!] Dr. Mohammed Ali!!
No kidding looked like Ali had already done my face!! [Boxing joke]
Anyway, I was so swollen and bruised that I looked like a huge mutant raccoon. So, a week later, the swelling receded and I went in for surgery. The basic plan was to knock me out, then strap on a tire-iron and pop my nose bone back into place. They used an IV, and I remember nothing. Commotion [nothing] then more commotion [waking to gurney in motion all done!] They didnt have to cut, which is happy. I sat in the recovery room with Pete, who came along. The pain was pretty bad [this coming from a guy who regularly thumps people at soccer!] so the nurse provided a Darvocet. It didnt help. [The nurse told me that it WOULD hurt] After about a half-hour, not cursing or crying but clenching my fists and gritting my teeth, another nurse [bless her!] gave me a shot of Dilaudid, which knocked me out. Much better. So, I had plastic tubes in my nose, one per nostril, which protruded a bit. I had to wear a gauze cloth like a drip tray, with paper tape holding in place. Kim, who I work with, gasped. She told me I looked like Hannibal Lecter. I got the tubes out after a week [no, it wasnt pleasant, and my nose bled for about an hour, but it didnt hurt.] So, after two days, I went jogging. No trips, no hurts. That night, I couldnt sleep because my left shoulder hurt so much. The next morning, I couldnt move my arm, so I called Kim and told her I was off to the E.R. [again!]. I thought I had a dislocated shoulder from the crash, but no: an inflamed rotator cuff!! Not even my pitching arm!! Well, its almost healed. I got in the last soccer game of the year [held my arm motionless people thought I was a kook, but it felt better afterward. Played defense but didnt score ;-)]
All-in-all, I missed five days of work, which is normally what I miss in a decade. The stitches are out, the swelling gone and most of my complexion back [just two spots of red on the nosie - I could have been Rudolph the Reindeer there for a time!]
Oh I had the facial fringe I alluded to [positive feedback, too!] but it just itched me silly, so its back to the Navy look..
Well, thats my story.Ill be biking again, after I fix the bike.
[Update]
The bike is fixed and works fine. I am fixed, too, and also work fine. There's not any trails close by, so I don't ride nearly as much :-( Got the facial fringe, now, and it works for me. Still have a funny hollow where my nose bone and cartilage almost meet, and a scar on my upper lip and tip of my nose, from them trying to separate from the rest of me. You almost gotta look, to see 'em. Just ask! Ya know I love to talk about myself :-)